A Father's Voice

There are things our children learn because we teach them.We sit them down.We explain.We correct.Maybe we read the Bible story.We give the lesson.We tell them what matters.But then there are the things they learn because they watch us.They watch how we talk to our wives.They watch how we apologize.They watch what we do when we are tired, overwhelmed, or stressed.They watch what we say is important, and then they watch whether our lives actually agree.And the older I get, the more I realize that fatherhood is not only taught.A lot of it is caught.Our children catch our rhythms.They catch our priorities.They catch our faith, our anger, our tenderness.They catch how we treat people.They catch how we handle pressure.Whether we mean to or not, we are always teaching.Even when we are not saying a word.Hi, my name is Ryan Guerra, and this is A Father’s Voice.And today I talk with my friend Thomas Beck.Thomas is a husband, a father of three, a musician, and someone I am very thankful is in my life.At a time when Emily and I were walking through a pretty big church transition, and I wasn’t fully sure whether playing music in church would fit into my life anymore, Thomas reached out and invited me to come play guitar with his church.And I don’t think I had ever told him this before this conversation, but that invitation helped restore something in me.It reminded me that maybe God was not done with that part of my life.And in many ways, that is who Thomas is.He is someone who encourages.Someone who invites.Someone who sees faith not as something to keep private, but as something that shapes every part of his life.Thomas is unapologetically Christian.And I don’t want to soften that or edit that out.His language, his framework, his marriage, his parenting, and his view of masculinity are deeply rooted in his faith in Jesus.But I also believe this conversation is for more than just people who share that faith.Because underneath the church language is something every father has to wrestle with.What am I modeling?What am I passing down?What do my kids see when they look at me?And what will they carry with them when they leave my home?In this conversation, we talk about his father, who worked hard, showed up, and stayed present.We talk about the mystery of our parents, how as children, we do not always understand what our parents are carrying.We talk about how sometimes love changes shape as we get older. And how becoming fathers ourselves can give us a new compassion for the men who raised us.And we talk about a moment in Thomas’s life where everything seemed to hit at once.The car.The house.His daughter’s injury.Work.Money.Pressure.The kind of season where a man can feel like he is supposed to carry it all, fix it all, and somehow not feel anything.But instead of hiding it, Thomas talked.He let another man see the weight.And that became one of the strongest parts of this conversation.Because maybe real strength is not pretending we are fine.Maybe real strength is knowing when to say, “I need someone to listen, and understand me.”I am thankful for Thomas’s friendship.I am thankful for the way he loves his wife and kids.And I am thankful for the reminder that our children are always watching, always learning, and always catching more from our lives than we realize.And so with that, I am honored to present to you my conversation with Thomas Beck.

Every game has rules.Lines you can’t cross.Things you can and cannot do.Moments where someone has to step in and say, that was wrong.In sports, that person is usually the referee.They watch.They call the foul.They blow the whistle.They hand out the penalty.And for a lot of us, if we’re honest, that can become the way we parent.Our kids mess up.We blow the whistle.They talk back.We throw the flag.They break something, disobey, lie, fight with their sibling, make the same mistake for the 3rd, 4th, or 20th time, and we immediately start looking for the right punishment.The right consequence.The right way to make sure they know they messed up.And don’t get me wrong.Kids need correction.They need boundaries.They need someone willing to say no.But somewhere along the way, I think many of us can forget that our children are not players on the opposing team.They are not trying to beat us or ruin our day.They are certainly not trying to make us look bad in public.They are children.Learning and growing. Making mistakes, and trying again.Maybe our job is not to simply throw the flag every time they fail.Maybe our job is to help them understand the game.Hi, my name is Ryan Guerra, and this is A Father’s Voice.And today I talk with my good friend Jeremy Weiss.Jeremy is someone I have wanted to have on this podcast for a long time. He is a storyteller at heart. Someone who loves books, loves conversation, and is one of those people who can take a story and find something deeper hiding underneath it.He is also a single father of four daughters, now grown, and a grandfather as well.His road to fatherhood was not straightforward.Jeremy got married young. Very young. He and his wife were kids trying to build a life while still figuring out who they were.And for a long time, much of his life was driven not by love, not by wisdom, but by obligation, and emotion. This idea that “THIS” is what a man is supposed to do.But fatherhood has a way of exposing us.Our habits.Our lack of awareness.Our anger.And in this conversation, Jeremy is honest about all of it. He talks about growing up with a stepfather he loved and admired, while later realizing there were things from that relationship that deeply shaped him in unhealthy ways.He talks about becoming a young father, making mistakes, yelling more than he realized, and eventually having to come to terms with the fact that the way he was raised had become the way he was raising others.And then we talk about the day everything changed.The day his wife left.And not only did she leave him, but she left the kids too.And almost overnight, Jeremy went from being one of the parents in the house, to being the only parent in the house.Four daughters.One dad.No manual.No clean plan.No easy answers.Just a man looking at his girls and saying, we are a team now.And we are going to figure this out together.This conversation is funny, painful, honest, and full of lessons I think many fathers need to hear.He does not shy away from his part in this story. He openly admits throughout our conversation that he was in the wrong many times, and it absolutely caused some of issues that we hear about.This story is not one of perfection.It is one of growth.I’m thankful for Jeremy’s friendship.I’m thankful for his honesty.I’m thankful that he trusted me with his story.And so with that, I am honored to present to you my conversation with Jeremy Weiss.

Before we start the episode, I want to give a brief content note.This conversation walks through the loss of a child, chronic pain, a serious car accident, financial hardship, and some honest conversation around suffering. There is a lot of wisdom and hope in this episode, but there are some difficult moments. Please take care of yourself as you listen.INTRO:What makes a good father?Is it how much he provides?How often he is home?How well he teaches?How much he plays?How strong he is when everything around him feels weak?For a lot of us, fatherhood is built around what we can do.We can work.We can fix.We can wrestle with our kids on the bed.We can drive them to practice, sit in the crowd, cheer them on, and remind them that dad is there.We can be the one who sacrifices first.The one who takes the hit.The one who does the work.But what happens when you can’t?What happens when your body breaks?When the strength you used to depend on is no longer there?When pain becomes the unwelcome guest in your life?What happens when the version of fatherhood you wanted to give your children is stripped away from you, and you’re left wondering what next?Are you still a good father when all you have left to give is love?Maybe that is the question.Because maybe fatherhood was never only about what we could do.Maybe it was always about how deeply we could love.Hi, my name is Ryan Guerra, and this is A Father’s Voice.Today I talk with Jerry Wagnon.Jerry, like many of these interviews this season, is someone I met over the last year and a half. In particular, I met Jerry at my local gym only about a month ago. I was trying to figure out who needed to be part of this season, and there was Jerry, sitting in the sauna, talking to another man about his story, his pain, and what he had walked through to get to where he is today.I didn’t know him at all at the time.But I knew there was something there.Jerry is 64 years old. He is a father of five, a husband of nearly 40 years, and a man who carries the kind of wisdom that only comes from living through both deep love and deep pain.In truth, this conversation went much longer than what you’ll hear today. There were moments that felt less like an interview and more like sitting across from someone further down the road, listening to the stories that shaped him.And to be honest, the conversation felt special.Not because Jerry is perfect, and has everything figured out.But because there is something meaningful about listening to a man who has lived through seasons I have not yet reached, and hearing him look back with honesty, gratitude, grief, and hope.In this conversation, we talk about his father, a man who modeled love, apology, and sacrifice in a way that shaped Jerry’s entire view of fatherhood. We talk about the moment Jerry decided that one day he wanted to be a dad so he also model that love to others.We talk about how holding his first daughter changed the way he understood the love of God.We talk about the loss of his son Daniel, and the grief that comes with losing a child.We talk about a car accident that changed his life, years of chronic pain, losing the ability to work, losing the home they had built, and the way his suffering forced him to reframe almost everything.And through all of this, we talk about love.Not perfect love.Not easy love.Not even the love that makes you happy.But the kind of love that remains.The kind of love that says, even if I am hurting, even if I am limited, even if I cannot be who I once was, I still want my wife and my children to know they are well loved.This conversation challenged me. And encouraged me.And honestly, it reminded me that sometimes the best thing a younger father can do is simply sit down, listen, and learn from someone further down the road.I am thankful Jerry trusted me with this conversation.And so with that, I am honored to present to you my conversation with Jerry Wagnon.

Before we start the episode, I want to give a brief content warning.This conversation walks through premature birth, serious medical complications, special needs parenting, marital separation, and the weight of parental guilt. There is a lot of hope in this conversation, but there are also some painful moments. Please take care of yourself as you listen.INTRO:What do fathers carry?Some carry the weight of providing.Some carry the weight of their past.Some carry the pressure of being strong when everyone around them is tired.Some carry the quiet fear that they are not enough.And some fathers carry moments they wish they could go back and change.Moments that replay in their minds.Moments that become chapters they keep returning to, even when life has moved forward.But fatherhood does not stop because we are hurting.There is still work to do, even when we are carrying so much.The family still needs our love.The children still need their dad.And so the father keeps going.Even when he is tired.Even when he is unsure.Even when he does not know if he has, or even can, fully forgive himself for the things he has done.Many fathers do not get to put this weight down. Ever.They instead, must learn how to carry it all on their shoulders, and still love.Hi, my name is Ryan Guerra, and this is A Father’s Voice.And today I talk with Damion VanCamp.Damion, known by many online as Sparrow Killer, is a yet another fellow Twitch DJ I’ve had the honor of getting to know over the last year. I first knew him through his music and streams. His beach sets, His melodic vibes, and his conversations in the chat of other DJs we support.But what stood out to me early on was not really his music. Though it is good.What stood out to me was how openly he talked about being a father with me.Damion is a husband, a retired member of the National Guard, and father to two boys. His oldest son, Lex, is autistic. His youngest son, Christian, has cerebral palsy, is quadriplegic, and has gone through more medically in his young life than many of us could imagine.This conversation walks through a lot.We talk about Damion becoming a father while preparing to deploy, missing much of his son’s first year of life, and then coming home and learning how to step into fatherhood quickly.We talk about his oldest son’s autism, the judgment parents can receive in public, and how sometimes what looks like bad parenting from the outside is actually a parent doing everything they can to help their child cope.And then we talk about Christian.Damion and his wife Jamie have built much of their lives around loving him, caring for him, and giving him the fullest life possible.This is not an easy conversation.Damion carries a lot. There is pain in his story. There is guilt. There is regret. There are things he is still processing.But there is also joy.There is humor.There is sacrifice.There is a father who continues to show up for his wife and his children, day after day, medication after medication, appointment after appointment, smile after smile.I am thankful Damion trusted me with this conversation. I am thankful for his honesty. And I am thankful for the example he sets of what it looks like to keep moving forward, even when the weight is heavy.And so with that, I am honored to present to you my conversation with Damion VanCamp.

What do you do?It’s one of the first questions we ask when we meet someone.Sometimes it’s harmless.A simple way to make conversation.A way to find common ground.A way to learn a little bit about the person standing in front of us.But for men, this question can carry more weight than we like to admit.Because many of us don’t just hear:What is your job?We hear:What is your value?What have you accomplished?How much do you provide?Are you successful?Are you respectable?Are you enough?For generations, many fathers have been measured by what they could bring home.The paycheck.The Food on the Table.Protection.And to be clear, providing financially for your family is honorable. It is important. It is needed.But what happens when provision looks different?What happens when the father is the one packing lunches?Changing diapers?Making appointments?Washing clothes?Getting the kids ready?Answering the phone when the school calls?What happens when the work of fatherhood is no longer measured by a salary, but by just being around?Maybe providing is never only about money.Maybe providing is always about showing up, day after day.Hi, my name is Ryan Guerra, and this is A Father’s Voice.And today I talk with Kiernan Ocampo.Kiernan is a friend I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know over the last year and a half. He is a fellow DJ, a father, a husband, and a stay-at-home dad who has learned to own that role with a confidence I deeply admire.Our conversation today covers a lot.We talk about life growing up in a Filipino family, We talk about becoming a father later than expected, learning to accept the family given to him, and what it means to fully pour yourself into the child in front to you.But more than anything, we talk about provision.Not just financial provision.But the kind of provision that comes through time, attention, care, humility, and consistency.Kiernan is part of the National At Home Dad Network, an organization I have been personally blessed by, and through this conversation you’ll hear why spaces like that are important to many fathers.Because as fathers we need community. We need encouragement. We need other men who understand what it means to carry the weight of the home in ways that are not always seen.I’m thankful for Kiernan’s friendship. I’m thankful for the way he has invited me into his community. And I’m thankful for the way he challenges the old ideas that a man’s value is only found in the money he brings home.Because maybe money can provide for a house.But presence provides a home.And so with that, I am honored to present to you my conversation with Kiernan Ocampo.

When was the last time you saw a GoFundMe on social media?It’s probably more often than you realize.Every 8 seconds, a new campaign begins on Go Fund Me for all sorts of needs, such as medical, rent, or even generalized support.Around 140 million dollars are raised every month through the platformThat’s almost 40 dollars per second.However, for us, there’s a real danger of over-saturationSo many stories, all of them valid, many heartbreaking, with real financial burden.It can overwhelm anyoneHow can we help all of these people who need it?How do we choose who gets money, a message, or simply, a quick prayer and a scroll down to the next post on Facebook or Instagram?This is a real struggle I deal with, and I have not really learned a great method to process it if I’m honest.However there are a few stories which have remained with me over the years.This episodes guest is from one of these stories.Eric Trinidad is a man who I worked with for a few years at a previous company. He was a few levels above me, knew a lot more than me, and always struck me as a patient and caring person. I’d love it when he answered the phone when I needed to escalate a call, because I knew not only was I going to receive quick help, he was also going to be patient and willing to teach me what I didn’t know after the call.After I left that company I lost touch with him, but then I saw this on Facebook about a year later, shared by his wife.“4th of July we were in the hospital getting ready for Lily’s little sister to arrive. Viviana Eleanor Trinidad was born on July 5th at 6lbs 11oz. There were some complications when she was born and a week later we find ourselves in Houston working on a plan with some of the best doctors to get her healthy and home as soon as possible. We were hesitant to post but we have a difficult road ahead of us and we need prayers from our family and friends.”The next post, this time by Eric’s sister:“On July 4th, my beautiful niece Viviana was born Unfortunately, Vivi was born with a tumor at the roof of her mouth going up to her brain. She was flown from San Antonio to Texas Children’s Hospital in Houston. My sister-in-law Gaby and brother Eric are still working through being away from home during this time, as there is such a long road ahead of Viviana. Gaby’s sister Alicia and I have set up a GoFundMe for Vivy if y’all could please share and keep my family and Vivy in your prayers Thank you so much to everyone that has sent such amazing vibes and thoughts our way”I do not want to make this about me, but something in these two post moved me. I read every update after, prayed for them, and genuinely wanted to see their little daughter make it through. Maybe it was because Winter was only about 1 year old at this time, maybe it was just God’s timing, I do not know.Time passed, there were updates but they became less and less as Viviana grew and grew into a wonderful little girl, and admittedly both time and algorithms separated them from my thoughts.That was until I recently met up with Eric again at a birthday party for one of our mutual friends. I asked him about his story, and was blown away at his journey. It was right as I was preparing for season 2, and I am thankful he was all in on recording it with me.I do not do this to benefit from his pain. His struggle isn’t my gain, and this isn’t something I’m trying to use to build up this podcast. My goal here is to share a man’s story, and his real walk through something heartbreaking, for us all to see that if we hold on, and celebrate the little things, there is a way through, no matter what happens.With that said, I am honored to present to you, my conversation, with Eric Trinidad.

What does faith look like to you?I’m not necessarily talking about any specific way, because in truth we all carry faith in something.Sometimes, yes, it is a faith in God or a higher power.Other times it’s faith in our family, faith in our friends.It’s faith in our abilities, and our beliefs.it’s faith that our marriage will last, and when we both said I Do we meant it.it’s faith that when we swipe our cards at the store, money will be there to pay.It’s faith that we can get through the valley we are in, and faith that believes there is a mountain top on the other side.Faith, pushes us forward.Websters dictionary says it is the “complete trust or confidence in someone or something”When carrying faith, we are putting our absolute trust that what we think will happen, will come to pass.However, are we getting faith wrong?Many times, it can be easy to carry the faith that our situations will turn around.It’s tempting to carry this belief that the trajectory we are on is heading toward a positive outcome, not a negative one.Verse after verse taken out of context makes it sound like God will show up when we need him to, to make our lives better.Sounds great right?But is that really the case? Is real faith believing life will get better, or is real faith believing that no matter what happens, what we place our faith in is still worth it.Yes, God can take us from glory to glory, but he can also guide us through loss to loss.Hi, my name is Ryan Guerra, and this is a Father’s Voice. Today we talk with Cody Criddle. Cody and his wife Sarah have become some of my favorite people. I find myself constantly playing the role of cheerleader in their journey, and I’m thankful to call them friends.Everyone needs people like the Criddles in their lives. As a family they have gone through much, and yet they carry themselves with a joy and passion that is contagious. They are clear leaders to anyone in their circle, setting an example for what a life of faith and integrity look like.This year Cody helped me through one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life when my mother’s house burned down. He was a wealth of experience and information, a helpful guide in the early stages of figuring things out, and in truth, a calming voice who could speak into my situation. He is the real deal, the kind of man anyone would want in their corner, and the kind of man I think many fathers will be able to learn from.Today we talk through his fatherhood story, and how his and Sarah’s faith is what has been a foundational pillar of their journey. This conversation challenged me, and has caused me to rethink my own relationship with my personal faith. Though I don’t like picking favorites, and I believe there is great value in every episode released on this show, this is a very special conversation for me. I pray it helps and encourages you as it did me.And so with that said, I present to you, my conversation with Cody Criddle.

When is the last time you looked at old photos of your children?How does it make you feel?Nostalgic?Joyful?Sad?These photos are proof that time never stops.They are like little fossils. Reminders of what life used to be. Of who we used to be.The kids we see in those photos, are no longer around.We will never meet them again.This is the sad reality of parenthood. The child we have in front of us today is temporary, soon to be replaced with an older, more mature version. The travesty of this is we don’t even see it until it’s over.Photos, reminding us of what’s lost.But the truth is we cannot stay looking at these photos, because just as much as our kids are no longer aged 1, 2, or 3, we are no longer parents of 1, 2 or 3 year olds.No, it’s not just the kids who are growing, to be effective parents in their new stages, we have to grow too.Hi, my is Ryan Guerra, and this is A Father’s Voice, and today I welcome Pastor Chris Martinez onto the show. Simply put, Pastor Chris is a man I look up to. Though we are close in age, I have learned and grown as a man just by watching him. He lives a life of integrity, loves his family, works hard, and has many accomplishments in both his professional career and ministry.He is someone who is doing a lot of this parenting gig right, and deserves the praise because he also has the humility to admit he has some areas he still needs to grow in, and even some areas he’s stagnated in. I appreciate this, because it reminds me even the best of men still have room to improve.Throughout this talk we cover a wide range of topics, and each one I believe can challenge or encourage every father that listens. I loved this discussion with Pastor Chris, and I’m excited to share it with you on this episode.So with that, I present to you, my conversation with Pastor Chris Martinez.

Becoming a new father is hard.You’re in a hospital, probably resting on an uncomfortable couch,your wife goes through a long tense labor process that you have no way to help with,and then they hand you a baby, and probably tell you to take your shirt off.But what then?Whether you’re ready for it or not, this is now your new life. And nothing can prepare you for it.All the books in the world or conversations with other fathers will never be enough to replace the lessons you will learn as you walk through new challenges and experiences that fatherhood brings.Most importantly, the baggage, whether you have done the work to process it or not, will begin to show up again. Stuff you’ve forgotten about, stuff you’ve worked through, it all comes back in new ways.Because being a parent opens your eyes to many new avenues of life. You see things the way your father saw things. And sometimes this isn’t easy to process.How could he have done that?How did he get through that?What was he thinking when…Did he realize that was hurting me?Did he mean to hurt me?Why didn’t he ask for help?Will I be able to be better?Fatherhood brings out the best, and worst, of our childhood.And if we aren’t prepared to walk through it, it can very easily hold us back from being the best father’s we can be.Hi, my name is Ryan Guerra, and this is A Father’s Voice, and today we talk with my friend Martin Cervantes. Martin and his wife Nelly are new parents to a wonderful little boy named Jonah. I have had the opportunity to walk alongside Martin since day one of him being a father, and I’ve seen him grow more and more into his role as a dad, and recently as the primary provider for his son Jonah.Martin is a quiet man. A truly humble dude. He thinks less of himself than most I talk to, admittedly almost to his detriment.And yet he is super talented, and has a high capacity to love and care for others. He’s also one of the few people in my life who can consistently cause me to laugh out loud in public.I cherish our friendship. I’ve greatly grown in my admiration for him, and have been thankful he’s trusted me to speak into his life as a new father and a man. I brought him onto the show because I wanted to hear his experiences as a new dad, what I got was so much more, and I’m excited to share this conversation with you on this episode.And so I am proud to present to you, my conversation with Martin Cervantes.