We Need To Talk… with Dr. Darcy Sterling

For members of the LGBTQ community, coming out isn’t a one-off conversation. It’s more like a series of discussions in which the person discloses to their loved ones that they are not the expected default, and instead are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning — or some combination thereof.The process of coming out is largely influenced by when a person comes out. Like, literally, the era they find themself living in, as well as by the culture they find themself living in. Gay rights has come a long way in the past 10-15 years, but for anyone contemplating coming out, trust me: It does not feel easy. Whether you’re a member of the LGBTQ community, an ally, or pondering where you land on the ever-broadening spectrum, I hope this episode makes your journey smoother. And if I can personally do anything to help you, don’t hesitate to email me: Darcy@AskDrDarcy.comIn this episode, you’ll learn:Strategies I employ to support clients through the coming out process.The stages involved in coming out.How to respond to someone who is coming out to you.AND… You’ll hear my own story of coming out — both of them.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESGlsen.org/activity/coming-out-resource-lgbtq-studentsKidsHealth.org/en/teens/coming-out.htmlHrc.org/resources/coming-outPflag.org/PlannedParenthood.org/learn/sexual-orientation/sexual-orientation/whats-coming-outTheTrevorProject.org/resources/guide/the-coming-out-handbook/Experiences of femme identity: coming out, invisibility and femmephobiaKaren L. Blair &Rhea Ashley Hoskin Pages 229-244 | Received 11 Mar 2014, Accepted 04 May 2014, Published online: 23 May 2014CREDITSThis episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. This episode is dedicated to my other niece 🖤 DISCLAIMER#Dating#DatingTips#RelationshipGoals#DatingAdvice#Relationships#RelationshipPodcas#RelationshipPodcasts#RelationshipAdvice#RelationshipExperts#RealTalkRelationships#PodcastLove#WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy#Therapy#CouplesCounseling#CouplesTherapy#DrDarcySterling#DoctorDarcySterling#DrDarcy#ComingOutProcess#LGBTQCommunity#LGBTQIdentities#LGBTQAcceptance#ComingOutStories#ComingOutExperiences#LGBTQRights#LGBTQSupport#LGBTQResources#LGBTQVisibility#LGBTQAdvocacy#GenderIdentity#SexualOrientation#LGBTQAcceptanceInSociety#LGBTQRepresentation#LGBTQCulture#LGBTQAcceptanceInFamily#LGBTQAllies#LGBTQAwareness#LGBTQPrideInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  Twitter:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

People who are unhappy in their lives have common denominators. It doesn’t matter what area of life they’re unhappy with — the solve is the same because the issue isn’t really about that particular area of their life — it’s about the way they approach things. Today, I’m going to show you how unhappiness in the quality of your relationships, your ability to reach goals, even the amount of money you have — how dissatisfaction in anything is the result of two things: The way you’re thinking and the way you’re acting.  And I’m giving you one of my most effective tools to use — for free — so listen through and let me know what you thought of today’s episode: Darcy@AskDrDarcy.comClick here for my Free Tool that will NOT make sense unless you listen first. #Dating#DatingTips#RelationshipGoals#PerspectiveMatters#PositiveThinking#MindsetShifts#MindsetShift#GrowthMindset#MindfulLiving#Relationships#RelationshipPodcast#RelationshipPodcasts#RelationshipAdvice#PerspectiveMatters#RealTalkRelationships#PodcastLove#WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy#Therapy#CouplesCounseling#CouplesTherapy#DrDarcySterling#DoctorDarcySterling#DrDarcyCREDITSThis episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  Twitter:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

Years ago, I was gutted by a falling out with one of my siblings. It quickly became clear that we were on the verge of estrangement, and that impending loss brought me to my knees —I had just recovered from PTSD and was terrified of getting sucked into the black hole of trauma that I’d just come through. Frantic for help, I found myself Googling a solution, and up came the term Forgiveness Therapy. To be clear: I was not feeling forgiving. But I was feeling desperate. I did not want to revisit the darkness I’d just emerged from. A book on forgiveness had recently been published by a professor named Robert Enright. In it he posits that forgiveness isn’t about cutting the other person slack. It’s a life raft for people who feel wronged. Enright’s theory had been peer-reviewed the gold standard in the field of psychology — so, despite my apprehension, I committed to following his program. Today, my journey through forgiveness comes full circle in my conversation with the theorist himself, Dr. Robert Enright. If you struggle with anger or are someone who holds grudges and you want to explore a solution, please listen to this episode. In it, you’ll learn:Why it makes sense if the thought of forgiving someone who wronged you makes you cringe.The consequences of not forgiving.How choosing to forgive puts you in control of your feelings.How Enright’s program helped me to personally bypass a relapse of PTSD.AND… The beauty of this process is that there’s NO obligation to reconcile with the person who wronged you.Xxoo DarcyAkhtar, S., & Barlow, J. (2018). Forgiveness Therapy for the Promotion of Mental Well-Being: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 19(1), 107-122. https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838016637079Freedman, S., & Zarifkar, T. (2016). The psychology of interpersonal forgiveness and guidelines for forgiveness therapy: What therapists need to know to help their clients forgive. Spirituality in Clinical Practice, 3(1), 45–58. https://doi.org/10.1037/scp0000087Reed, G. L., & Enright, R. D. (2006). The effects of forgiveness therapy on depression, anxiety, and posttraumatic stress for women after spousal emotional abuse. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74(5), 920–929. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.74.5.920For More Information on Dr. Robert Enright:International Forgiveness InstituteAsk Dr. ForgivenessForgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope#ForgivenessHeals#Forgiveness#SelfForgiveness#ForgivenessIsFreedom#ForgivenessTherapy#ForgivenessIsKey#LetItGo#LettingGoOfThePast#LettingGoOfFear#WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy#CouplesCounseling#CouplesTherapy#DrDarcySterling#DoctorDarcySterling#DrDarcy#DrRobert EnrightInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  Twitter:@DrDarcySterling  Threads:@drdarcysterling YouTube:@DarcySterling   Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

We all learn relationship skills in our formative years during childhood — for better or worse. As adults, it’s up to us to assess which of those skills serve us and to unlearn those that don’t. Whether or not you’re a parent, I promise this episode is relevant for you.In this candid conversation with parenting expert Dr. Jennifer Weberman, we drill down on how everyday experiences provide children (and provided us as children) with opportunities to learn relationship skills — even when we fu@k up. In this episode, you’ll learn:Why some of us were a bad fit for our parents — and what the consequences of that were. How making mistakes in front of children can provide them with some of the most important relationship skills (and how trying to hide those moments can backfire).Biggest mistakes parents make when they’re trying to make up.Dr. Weberman-recommended smartphones for children WITHOUT social media! Xxoo DarcyKid-friendly phones/4 options:GABBBarkTroomi PinwheelDr. Weberman’s Website: TransformationsTherapyCenter.comDr. Weberman’s Parenting Resource Suggestions: The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children by Dr. Shefali TsbaryThe Whole Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Daniel Siegel and Dr. Tina BrysonBrain Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids by Dr. Mona DelahookeDr. Weberman’s Socials:Instagram:@drjenniferwebermanFacebook:drjenniferwebermanTik Tok:@drjenniferwebermanCREDITSThis episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production.DISCLAIMER#ParentingPodcast#ParentingTips#Parenting101#ModernParenting#RaisingKids#ParentingHacks#MomLife#DadLife#Parenthood#ParentingAdvice#HealthyFamily#ChildDevelopment#PositiveParenting#FamilyWellness#ParentingJourney#ParentingCommunity#ParentingWisdom#ParentingSupport#RealParenting#relationshipgoals#WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy#Therapy#CouplesCounseling#DrDarcySterling#DoctorDarcySterling#drdarcy#DrJennifer WebermanInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  Twitter:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

Lately, my conversations with clients + friends involve talk about exhaustion. There’s a general sense of burnout — a fatigue that weekends and time off no longer cures.  Which makes sense to me from a mental health perspective.  Life, particularly in recent years, has felt incredibly unpredictable, and as humans, we can tolerate a lack of predictability for short periods of time. But we’ve had several years of unpredictable events without a reset.   And when individuals have to endure a rinse and repeat of uncertainty without fully healing before the next event hits, is that they become vulnerable to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Because these are the circumstances that create it. So, if it’s true that we’ve been steeped in all the elements that create PTSD for years, then something else ALSO must be true:  We, as individuals and as a society, must be capable of experiencing something called Post Traumatic Growth (PTG), which you may not have heard of but by the end of this conversation, you’ll probably be conversant in it.  Today’s guest — my first guest on We Need To Talk — is Robert Mack. Robert is a leading expert in the field of Positive Psychology. He holds a Master’s Degree from the University of Pennsylvania, and he’s the author of Happiness From The Inside Out. He and I met on the set of Famously Single and I invited him here to share what Post Traumatic Growth theory says about the potential for profound personal growth following trauma. And whether it’s true or hype that individuals who recover from traumatic experiences can emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient than before.  In this episode you’ll learn: Why some people emerge from PTSD with PTG.The specific traits YOU need to cultivate to increase the odds that you emerge from horrible events stronger than you were before.How to use principles from Positive Psychology to remain resilient and grounded as we advance further into 2024. Please share this episode with someone who needs it.  REFERENCES“The Posttraumatic Growth Inventory: A Revision Integrating Existential and Spiritual Change”Richard G. Tedeschi, Arnie Cann, Kanako Taku, Emre Senol-Durak, Lawrence G. CalhounJournal of Traumatic Stress, 18 January 2017 https://doi.org/10.1002/jts.22155Citations: 153 “A Meta-Analytic Clarification Of The Relationship Between Posttraumatic Growth And Symptoms Of Posttraumatic Distress Disorder.” Journal of Anxiety DisordersVolume 28, Issue 2, March 2014, Pages 223-229. Journal of Anxiety DisordersJane Shakespeare-Finch, Janine Lurie-Beck. "Posttraumatic growth, meaning in life, and life satisfaction in response to trauma." - This study investigated the relationship between post-traumatic growth, meaning in life, and life satisfaction, contributing to the understanding of how these factors interconnect. Triplett, K. N., Tedeschi, R. G., Cann, A., Calhoun, L. G., & Reeve, C. L. (2012). DISCLAIMER#PostTraumaticStressDisorder#PostTraumaticGrowth#PositivePsychology#PTSD#PTSDRecovery#PTSDAwareness#PTSDSurvivor#RobertMack#PTSDSupport#Dating#DatingTips##RealTalkRelationships#PodcastLove#WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy#Therapy#CouplesCounseling#CouplesTherapy#DrDarcySterling#DoctorDarcySterling#DrDarcyInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  Twitter:@DrDarcySterling Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

I have walked countless people through romantic breakups over the years, and almost universally, I’m told that the most painful part of the breakup is losing their best friend. Which is why I wanted to dedicate an entire episode of We Need To Talk to the heartbreak we endure when we break up with a friend. The loss of a friendship can be gut-wrenching.And it’s made worse by the absence of a socially sanctioned ritual around that loss.We know how to support a friend who’s had a romantic breakup - but we don’t have a ritual for supporting loved ones who’ve lost a platonic loved one. Which sends us the message that the loss of the relationship shouldn’t devastate us, because after all, it was just a friendship. But then, where do we go with our grief? In this episode, we cover: Why friendship breakups are so uniquely difficult. How to decide if a friendship is salvageable. How to navigate the situation when you and your ex-friend share other friends.And I share my own story about ending a friendship several years ago. Questions? Comments? Email us at Darcy@AskDrDarcy.comXxoo DarcyREFERENCES“It's just like a break-up”: A qualitative analysis of turning points in female friendships in early to middle adulthoodEF Doherty - Communication Quarterly, 2021 - Taylor & FrancisRelationship dissolution in the friendships of emerging adults: How, when, and why? TH Khullar, MH Kirmayer,  Miriam H. Kirmayer, and Melanie A. Dirks .Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2021 - Volume 38 Issue 11 'We're just not friends anymore': self-knowledge and friendship endings Mary Healy - Ethics and Education, 2015 - Volume 10, - Issue 2.CREDITSThis episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production.  DISCLAIMER#FriendshipBreakup#friendsarefamily#friendsarethefamilyyouchoose#friendsareforever#friendsarefamilytoo#friendsarethefamilywechoose#Relationships#WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy#Therapy#DrDarcySterling#DoctorDarcySterling#DrDarcyInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling Twitter:@DrDarcySterling YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterling Watch this episode here on YouTube.