Share
Legs & Eggs
Now there's a naked dad here
It’s two in the afternoon here. Heather is really fucking drunk and off getting a recreational pap smear. Captain Karl the Sex Doll filled in your mom, and then filled in for Heather in this amazing collaboration we got going on. We have ANTHROPOS! What’s that you ask? We’ll let Alexander Wolf, of Wolf Mountain Workshop explain.
“Alexander became wickedly jealous that Monte was able to be on the podcast promoting inc: The Podcast, very early in our current seasonal run, and he has harbored this hatred for as long as possible. In an effort to promote the heck-a-roonie out of their season before it ends in December, Alexander begged, pleaded, and finally sent some of his extra fingers through the mail to the Legs and Eggs podcast, at which point they agreed, but only if he provided them with some top-quality horror-ish fiction to read and act out on their stunning show. Knowing he couldn’t produce anything top quality, he sent more fingers (not extra this time), along with a script entitled ANTHROPOS. A deal was struck, and history made.”
America’s favorite side piece Tommy J Shrimps is back. I think he kind of lives in the basement now. Like part-time. He goes somewhere else but there’s a mattress here and sometimes we find a Cheetos bag. Oh, and like always, we have the technical difficulties you all crave.
The seasons are changing. The weather is getting cool. Keytar cool. You know what that means. Your sperm count is rising because your testicles are cooler, and cooler balls mean better swimmers during turtleneck season. It also means Legs and Eggs Hoodies! Stay cozy this fall and winter with your customizable hoodie from The Legs & Eggs Store. All your Groping friends will be wearing them. Choose your design, style, and color and have Legs and Eggs keep you warm and toasty. And if you are looking to redesign your bathroom or need something to wear to the Met Gala, we have shower curtains too!
Most evenings you can find Sara the Ruthless singing her heart out on the StarMaker karaoke app. Klem, Fupa, Heather, and even Captain Karl make appearances! Look for the No Loads Refused Cum Dump and follow SaratheRuthless. *We reserve the right to refuse any load. This is an 18+ room. Kids…you WILL get thrown out.
To hear this episode and all past episodes, check out our website, shows.acast.com/legsandeggs. You can also find all our social media, our Patreon and anything else you would ever need to know about us!
Wolf Mountain Work Shop is
Alexander Wolfe can be contacted at writingwolfe.com, or by searching inc: The Podcast. Alternatively, he can be summoned by prematurely burying a treasured and well-loved childhood plaything. He will find you. And you will sit together. And you will talk.
Monte Monteleagre can be contacted at montedmonteleagre.com. But let it be known in this moment, that everybody, and I mean everybody, must walk the road they set their feet on.
More episodes
View all episodes
53. Holes and Fudge are Easy
48:06||Ep. 53It's Election Season. Who doesn't want more election coverage? Everyone is so excited about the election. No one is tired. We've got some election predictions for you. We've also got other stuff. Lots of other things. Things like Fox and Julio from Conspiracy Soldiers. What Heather would do to Eminem if he asked. Fupa Jones sings and you'll love it. Klem Stump sings and you'll hate it. Enjoy this episode on the last day of Election Season.Find all our info here.52. this pumpkin has a butthole
48:41||Ep. 52Like sands through da muthafuckin’ hourglass, these are the LEGS & EGGS OF OUR LIVES!!!We’re back with a smooth one! Gaveen returns with Klem and Fupa. The three ball out and explore the world of space ghosts (different from the guy named Space Ghost, you’'ll see) while they get hype for Tubi Tuesday. All the while Heather cleans her house and drinks some Oreo coke! Klem poops a smooth one! Eminem becomes a grandfather! And holy shit, a song from our buddy Stewart from 21st Century Podcast. We got more Billy Joel hits plus all the cum farts and toilet talk you expect from Providence RI’s premiere adult entertainment breakfast show! You can even wear your cum socks!Find all our info here51. Adult Baby Diaper Lover Spa
44:03||Ep. 51You’re a prebiotic soda. Yes you are. And you’re about to be drank by Heather. Oh yeah. That’s where you’re gonna become biotic. She’s your mom. She’s our mom. She’s everyone’s mom.Legs & Eggs: The Podcast is back. Back like Sir Mix-A-Lot’s baby. Heather shits on Billboard’s Top 10 Rock Singers list while simultaneously believing that Jon Bon Jovi should be on it. She also reviews food, like — you guessed it — prebiotic soda. There’s more with Fox and Julio from Conspiracy Soldiers who inform us that Barron Trump may have travelled through time and also talk to us about crack! Klem Stump takes a dump!When Eric Adams hears the song “One Of Us” by Joan Osborne he thinks “Yeah. What if I was one of you?”Subscribe to our SubstackFollow us on Twitter50. at the urinal with your pants down
45:04||Ep. 50It’s 9/11. And Legs & Eggs is back again from the depths of your soul to the front of your face. Guten tag, bitchez! Guten tag!Today we celebrate the birth of Freedom Fries and the death of Saddam Hussein. Today we fly the corn muffin at half-mast. Today we remember to not forget. Celebrating with us for the first time ever is the one, the only GAVEEN! Let’s welcome Gaveen to the podcast! We've got new songs. We’ve got old songs. We’ve got cat hairs in our ears. We’ve got Bernie Kolfeld with more cyberknife information. Jet fuel may not melt steel beams, but this edition of TOILET TALK WITH KLEM STUMP sure will!Happy first day of 9/11 season everybody. Let’s see this bitch through to MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!Follow us on Twitter (@legsandeggspod)Subscribe to our Substack and stay up to date on all Fupa's poetry49. It's Joever!
55:11||Ep. 49OR IMMEDIATE RELEASE!Joe’s dropping out. We had thoughts. You need to hear them. Listen to Fupa, Klem, and Heather react to the news of Joe Biden dropping out of the Presidential race. We all know they’ve been holding him up Weekend at Bernie’s style for months anyway. They drone struck and missed Cher’s Diner and Joe got retired so Val Kilmer is now President for the next 38 days until Jojo Siwa becomes Doja Cqt and we all can walk again. Jesus H Motherfucking Christ48. Best of Klem Stump
01:09:50||Ep. 48This morning Klem wrapped herself around me and said "you like me because I have big titties".Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you The Best of the rest of Klem Stump47. Best of Heather
51:34||Ep. 47What can we say about Heather that hasn’t been said before? We can’t. It has all been said before because Heather is the most basic of all basic bitches. Heather invented basic. You’ve heard of NormCore. Well, Heather inspired it with her infinite power of basic. Being that basic can make a girl tired. And oh boy is Heather tired. She’s exhausted with all the stupidity in the world. She’d like everyone to shut up and let her enjoy a glass of wine and a cigarette. Heather’s a mom. She’s not your mom. But you wish she was. She’s America’s Favorite Wine Mom. Who doesn’t love moms? Want more Heather? You can get more Heather by subscribing to our Substack. Heather loves substacking. Or maybe you’re a freak who wants to call her and leave her a message. You can do that too. Heather loves messages. They make her happy. You want her to be happy, right? Don’t let your favorite mom down. Give her a call. 929-263-4165Embrace your inner basic bitch and get yourself a Heather tote bag. It’s perfect for bringing home a few bottles of wine and a carton of cigarettes. Heather would appreciate very much if you would follow her on Twitter.46. Best of Fupa Jones
44:20||Ep. 46Who is Fupa Jones? He’s a man with a plan. A rebel without a cause. He’s 3 children in a trench coat. Fupa Jones is all of us. He’s none of us. He’s an Actor, in a bathtub. It’s Fupa Jones’, the actor’s bathtub. The bathtub of Fupa Jones, the actor. Fupa Jones is a poet. A beautiful poet. A hopefully someday award winning poet. He’s the man who brought us the hits Spaceman Dan and Kobe Bryant is on Fire. Is he a drug addled podcaster from Brooklyn? Is he an anti government edge lord? He is all of that, and none of that, and all of that again until it doesn’t exist anymore and you are living in a fever dream of corn and chili dogs. Or maybe he’s not that at all. He’s more of a feeling, or a taste, or one of your other senses. Maybe Fupa Jones is touch? Is he touch? We know he’d love to touch Hunter Biden’s bare ass. Subscribe to our Substack to get all of Fupa Jones’ beautiful poetry. You like poetry, right? Everyone loves poems. Want Fupa to watch you urinate? Maybe do a number 2 every so often. Now you can with your very own Fupa Jones shower curtain. Don’t forget to follow Fupa on Twitter. He loves when you do that.45. Good Morning and Thanks for Coming
59:38||Ep. 45All the Wolf you love to eat! This episode is like a burrito that’s choc full o’ Wolf Blitzer. You thought you knew Wolf Blitzer but you don’t know Wolf Blitzer like we know Wolf Blitzer so you ain’t got no fuckin’ idea what you’re talkin’ bout when you bring that weak-ass Wolf Blitzer shit into my Wplf Blitzer motherfuckin house motherfuckersWe got our friends The Dillon Street Boys from Swamp Talk with us this week. We got Heather educating us about her favorite Billy Joel song, River Of Dreams. And we get to hear all about her touching Mother’s Day. (Heh. Touching mothers.)We got our pal President George W. Bush reciting poetry! PLUS!! the world premiere of our new song FROGGY CHOO-CHOO! It’s about Klem and Fupa’s cat Curtis. We love Curtis so much. AND we dive back into the tub once more and go INSIDE THE ACTOR’S BATHTUB WITH THE ACTOR FUPA JONES!Jesus looks so sad. Probably cuz he’s on a cross. I wouldn’t look happy, I can tell you that much.Hey, do you like this kind of thing? Subscribe to our Substack. You get stuff like this all the time. It’s like having some friends you don’t have to clean up after or make dinner for or have an awkward conversation as you feel out if the neighbors are swingers or not and if you’re into it.And please, call our phone number in 929-263-4165 and say something to us. We love talking and hearing and listening to you, my sexy babies. It would make us so very happy. Once again that number is 929-263-4165 CALL NOW!!!