Let's Talk About Behavioural Profiling & Dating with Lily Walford
On today’s episode of the StephUp Podcast, join me in a lovely and fun chat with behavioural profiler, dating and life coach, Lily Walford.
Lily helps people to understand both written & body language within relationships. She advises that there is a way to tell when people are lying as their language has a certain pattern to it.
“A healthy relationship starts with a healthy relationship with ourselves. We can’t connect with someone else if we are not connected to ourselves.”
The way we see ourselves as adults comes from our childhood and we get stuck in a cycle of people-pleasing, victim mentality, being an overachiever, etc. It’s important to know you are worthy of love and if someone doesn’t appreciate you, do you want to be with them?
When dating, it’s important to ask yourself if you connect with that person. Does this person align with your goals?
There are 4 main components of a healthy relationship:
Lily and Steph discuss aspects of abuse of power in relationships and specifically with regards to religion and also having a narcissistic partner. It’s important to be curious about your emotions. They are valid. Be empowered by them and not over run by them.
Lily and I chat about “Twilight” and how creepy it was but why did we think it was romantic?
In the podcast I mentioned Evy Poumpouras. Check out her website.
Buy Steph's book, “What Should Dragon Do?”
Support the podcast: Buy Me A Coffee
View all episodes
Thank you and Goodbye?14:20Thank you for listening to the StephUp Podcast over the past 2 seasons. I’ve learned a lot over the last few years and so much of that is due to the podcast. I spoke to so many amazing guests who taught me a lot. Speaking out has helped me to be more articulate and figure out who I am as a person. While I've enjoyed doing this podcast and all I've learned, it is time for me to move on. This may be for good or it might just be for a long season.Remember, your feelings and experience are valid. If people try to tell you otherwise, they do not know what it is like to be you or to have been you. Find your safe people, those who let you work things out and figure things out on your own and don't feel the need to step over your boundaries. Safe people are those who don't just swoop in to tell you what they think you should do. Be passionate. Be your unique self. Be you.Thank you.Follow StephUp Podcast on Instagram, Twitter, and her website at www.stephanieannwebb.com.Buy Steph's book, “What Should Dragon Do?”Support the podcast: Buy Me A Coffee
24. Let's Talk About Fame & Personal Development with Randy Spelling56:19Author, life coach & motivational speaker, Randy Spelling returns to close out season 2 of the StephUp Podcast as we talk about fame and personal development.Being rich and famous seems glamorous to the rest of us but it isn’t all it seems. Randy talks about some of the good and bad aspects and what it felt like growing up in this environment. His father, Hollywood producer, Aaron Spelling, created some of our favourite shows: “Beverly Hills 90210”, “Melrose Place, “7th Heaven” and more. Randy left Hollywood and is now a life coach and motivational speaker who loves to help people find their own way and success in life.Randy and I discuss the fear of putting yourself out there, why conversations are important (especially when we disagree), why being rich and famous doesn’t make you happy and why personal development is important.“The human experience can be hard and brutal sometimes, so let’s make it more beautiful and more fun while embracing the hard aspects of life, and love each other as best we can.”Check out Randy on the socials on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and his websiteBuy Randy’s book, “Unlimiting You” on Amazon.comFollow StephUp Podcast on Instagram, Twitter, and her website at www.stephanieannwebb.com.Buy Steph's book, “What Should Dragon Do?”Support the podcast: Buy Me A Coffee
23. Let's Talk About Growing up Fundie Evangelical with Vanessa Zellmer54:30On today’s episode of the StephUp Podcast, join me in a lovely and fun chat with my friend, Vanessa Zellmer, as we talk about growing up as fundie evangelicals. Vanessa shares her experiences of what it was like growing up in a strict Pentecostal sect.We discuss what it was like being raised female in the church. The patriarchal ideas that women are less than men, as well as being told that women are emotional while men are the rational, superior thinkers who are called to be the head of the household.One of the theological traditions we were both raised with was called Calvinism and one of its tenets is something called “Total Depravity”, a belief that we are inherently sinful and the only good in us comes from God. This kind of teaching led us to have feelings of worthlessness.Vanessa and I also touched on the black and white thinking that many people are raised with. This leads to dehumanizing and “othering” people which leads to more fear and divisiveness, especially between people of faith and the secular world. Follow StephUp Podcast on Instagram, Twitter, and my website at www.stephanieannwebb.com.Buy Steph's book, “What Should Dragon Do?”Support the podcast: Buy Me A Coffee
22. Let's Talk About Narcissism with Megan McLaren33:30On today’s episode of the StephUp Podcast, join me in a lovely and fun chat with social worker, behavioural life consultant and coach, Megan McLaren. Megan shares what a day in her life is like working with patients with mental health, chronic disease management as a social worker and then supporting and encouraging people as a life coach. Since there are so many tools and information out there, it can be good but also overwhelming and that is where Megan’s education and social work also helps her life coach clients.I asked Megan about how some personal development teaching can be stressful and damaging. She says some people glamourize the “hustle culture” but true change takes time. It’s important to take out “only” in our wording; celebrate all your accomplishments, no matter how small.Megan advises that it can be difficult to diagnose narcissism. There are different traits (grandiose feelings and infatuation of themselves, think they know everything, having unrealistic expectations, emotionally neglectful, not empathetic, etc). If a person has just a few of the narcissistic traits, they probably aren’t. Narcissists are very manipulative. They can be covert (subtle, passive aggressive) or overt which is more obvious. They are attracted to people with good traits and seek them out. Megan also advises that narcissism is a learnt behaviour. Many times, it comes from trauma. There is no cure for narcissism, but psychotherapy can be a help for narcissists.“A narcissist can sniff out good traits in a person and so they are going to play on all those wonderful traits and exploit those. They are a master in that exploitation.”Megan shares some techniques to stand your ground with a narcissist: 1) Set boundaries and stand firm with them2) Don’t engage in arguments3) Distance yourself4) Find a good community Check out Megan’s website and follow her on Instagram and FacebookThank you to the amazing German, aka Your Podcast Editor for editing my audio conversation with Megan. Follow him at his website, Instagram and Twitter.Follow StephUp Podcast on Instagram, Twitter, and her website at www.stephanieannwebb.com.Buy Steph's book, “What Should Dragon Do?”Support the podcast: Buy Me A Coffee
20. Let's Talk About Authenticity, Transparency & Vulnerability with Tami McMullin45:46On today’s episode of the StephUp Podcast, join me in a lovely and fun chat with speaker, trainer, coach and author of “The Five Magic Wands”, Tami McMullin.I met Tami on Facebook and loved how open and honest she was in her posts. Tami says she has received so many messages from people who thank her for being herself and sharing those vulnerable things because it helps them to not feel alone. Tami talks about how connecting with people is so important in this world and she loves to do that by being authentic, transparent and vulnerable. She shares about how she felt so different and shy growing up, especially in a very performance-based environment. I can relate to that and we talk about how we are basically the same person in how we grew up, how we felt and how similar we are in personalities. Tami and I also chat about how feeling judged can lead to judging others, how working in retail is so helpful so we can understand how hard it is and how we love to “ask for the manager” so we can give out compliments. “You are always going to be less than for some people and more than for others. And yet if that is how we are viewing ourselves as, that doesn’t give you a chance to be who you are and bring who you are to the table.”Thank you to the amazing German, aka Your Podcast Editor for editing my audio conversation with Tami. Follow him at his website, Instagram and Twitter.Follow Tami on Facebook, LinkedIn and Instagram and buy her book, “The Five Magic Wands” here on AmazonFollow StephUp Podcast on Instagram, Twitter, and her website at www.stephanieannwebb.com.Buy Steph's book, “What Should Dragon Do?”Support the podcast: Buy Me A Coffee
19. Let's Talk about Fast Learning with Howard Berg54:57On today’s episode of the StephUp Podcast, Steph talks with the World’s Fastest Reader, Howard Berg.Howard shares how growing up in a rough neighborhood in Brooklyn, NY led him to the safest place he could find: the library. At the age of 11, he was already reading at college level. While he attended university, he studied Psychobiology and used the information he learned about how the brain works to develop his approach to speed reading.Howard Berg has been teaching and training people all over the world on how to speed read while retaining the information as well as teaching techniques on memorization.Listen in as Howard shares some of these amazing techniques to Steph!“You can’t just assume that giving people information is the end. Tell them how to remember it. Use words they understand in a schematic significance to them. Show them how to get in the right frame of mind to use it successfully.”Check out Howard’s courses on his website. You can also follow him on YouTube and Facebook.Follow StephUp Podcast on Instagram, Twitter, and her website at www.stephanieannwebb.com.Buy Steph's book, “What Should Dragon Do?”Support the podcast: Buy Me A Coffee
18. Let's Talk About Sustainable Excellence with Terry Tucker50:47On today’s episode of the StephUp Podcast, Steph talks with motivational speaker and author of “Sustainable Excellence”, Terry Tucker.Terry has been through a lot in his life as he went through a variety of different careers from basketball coach to Hostage Negotiator, but his most challenging battle came in 2012 when he was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Going through treatment, sickness and pain really brought Terry to a place where he wanted to die. In 2018, his left foot had to be amputated and then in 2020, a tumor was found in his ankle and his left leg had to be amputated up to his knee. While he still goes through many bad days, Terry looks for the joys and positive things in his life and likes to share that encouraging outlook with others. Terry and Steph discuss his book, “Sustainable Excellence” and how encouraging it is and full of amazing advice on life. In his book, Terry talks about finding your purpose, how we are all unique and how important it is to keep moving forward in life, even if taking just small steps. “The only way to find your purpose is to search it out. To try things that make you uncomfortable, to fight against the status quo, and experience something that scares you.”Check out Terry’s website, follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and buy his book, “Sustainable Excellence” here.Follow StephUp Podcast on Instagram, Twitter, and her website at www.stephanieannwebb.com.Buy Steph's book, “What Should Dragon Do?”Support the podcast: Buy Me A Coffee
17. Let's Talk About Money with Dennis Harhalakis56:27On today’s episode of the StephUp Podcast, Steph talks with money coach, Dennis Harhalakis. Join Steph and Dennis as they talk about how money is not really about numbers and math, but it is about our emotions and our relationship to ourselves and to money.Dennis explains that since our brains are wired for immediate gratification and to push discomfort to the future, it is important to learn how to delay gratification. Since our finances and our relationship to it have become more and more complicated, it breeds a lot of anxiety. We make bad decisions when we are: Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. And those decisions can really affect our relationship with money.Listen in to find out how our emotions and money are so interconnected and how money coaches like Dennis can help rewire our brains to begin a healthy relationship with our finances. Check out Dennis’ website and follow him on TwitterFollow StephUp Podcast on Instagram, Twitter, and her website at www.stephanieannwebb.com.Buy Steph's book, “What Should Dragon Do?”Support the podcast: Buy Me A Coffee