Honestly? Hell Yeah

From childhood, one of the greatest wonders of the world was the magic of Santa Claus, and his ability to be everywhere and anywhere at any time. In adulthood, one of the many burdens of truth lies within the knowledge that Santa Claus is really just a bunch of geriatrics getting paid to LARP as a fictional entity. In I Am Santa Claus, the velveteen curtain is pulled back to share some tricks of the trade as we follow a year in the life of 4 professional (and 1 surprising amateur) Santa Claus cos-players, and it’s both everything and nothing that you would expect. Swaddle yourself in the holiday spirit and join us as Jen joins the Fraternal Brotherhood of Real Bearded Santas, Danielle sixty-nines with Michigan (not as sexy as it sounds), we all learn a thing or two about combining orgies with hot buffets, and so much more! Tune in for some exciting news, stay for the LoLs! Happy ho-ho-ho-holidays!

Imagine: You're an aging big-wig billionaire, respected by many but feared by all. Everyone you meet wants what you've got, and that's MONEY. So they attempt to peddle their wares and sell you on the next "big idea" in hopes that you'll be inspired enough to cut a big, fat check to make all their dreams come true. You've heard it all and it all stinks; so much so that you're not sure you'll ever make another $125M investment again. You're ready to pack it all up and never work in this town again when suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere appears a (literally) bright-eyed and (literally) bushy-tailed 19 year old college dropout with an idea so crazy that it just might work. In the Inventor, we follow the rise and fall of grifter goddess Elizabeth Holmes as she wages a deadly war on phlebotomy, fashion, and ethics alike. Join us as we assess the relationship between Elizabeth's hair as it interacts with her turtle necks, wonder how people in Arizona spend their money at Walgreens, weigh in on science?? and tech???, and ultimately ~change the world~. Tune in!

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Identical triplets with pretty big hands reunited after 19 years! In Three Identical Strangers, we are treated to and tortured by the incredible true story of three adult men finding the brothers they never knew they had through a series of events that definitely involved community college. And if some were suspicious of their genealogy, please rest assured that they even smoke the same cigs AND all like Chinese food! You just can’t make this stuff up! Join us as we watch these newfound celeb siblings suck and fuck their way through New York City, wearing disco suits and opening tacky restaurants called—you guessed it—“Triplets.” But you know what they say: With all good things comes a diabolical experiment being conducted against its participant’s will. Tune in!

With the holidays swiftly approaching, have you thought about where you're going to buy gifts for your loved ones? You've probably got some things in an online shopping cart, plans to hit the local shops, or maybe you're making presents this year like a POOR PERSON (guilty as charged). Regardless, something tells us that few of you are clamoring to get to the mall like you may have in seasons passed, turning what we call "the mall industrial complex" on its head. In Jasper Mall, we visit a once beloved establishment that has all but been abandoned as it clings to the paltry scraps its few geriatric patrons are willing to spare at any of its 8 remaining stores. So ask your parents for some cash and a ride to the mall where you'll get a criminally crooked undercut at Master Cuts, buy some dusty fake funeral flowers at Robin's Nest, play dominoes in the empty food court, and not much more! And you might not be the horny teenager who once loved bird-doggin' chicks at the mall, but don't worry: it's mostly a place for patriotic senior citizens and Covid tests now! Tune in!

Gobble gobble, BITCHES. It's holiday season, so we're here to get fucking Wasted, and that's just the inconvenient truth™. Thanksgiving is over but the hangover persists as we shove the excessive leftovers into the 'fridge where they'll stay until they go bad and eventually into the trash without a second thought. In a desperate attempt to teach us the error of our ways in regards to the treatment of food throughout the world, reluctant narrator Anthony Bourdain gives us an important lesson in capitalism, excess, waste, and how it's fucking everything up, as usual.  Join us as we stuff squash stems with pig rectums, stuff pig rectums with squash stems, not waste a single bite of food, and pay through the goddamn nose for it. Tune in!

She's beauty and she's grace. She's queen of 50 states. She is elegance and she's taste, she is Miss United States...and her name is Paris (Hilton). In the first (?) and only (?) of it's kind, the brand new YouTube documentary called This is Paris checks in with the unofficial American princess of the early aughts after a quiet retreat from the relentless spotlight of celebutante stardom. What we find is that there's a surprising amount to learn about the girl who seemed to bear it all, and a darkness is brewing underneath the bubbly veneer. Join us as we give impressively accurate impressions of Paris Hilton's ACTUAL voice, speculate wildly about Nikki Hilton's treatment of poor people, realize rich people don't know who Homer Simpson is, and learn that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. This episode is big LoLs, betches, so tune all the way in!

It all started out innocently enough: A cartoon of a stoned humanoid frog named Pepe peeing into a toilet began circulating the internet amongst artists and weight lifters alike, as they echoed to his simple and relatable statement that [it] "Feels Good, Man."  But when nice-guy Matt Furie uploaded his innocuous comic strip to Myspace in 2008, little did he know he would unexpectedly and accidentally change the course of life as we knew it...literally. When the virginal demons of 4Chan got their grubby little Cheeto-logged paws on the Pepe the Frog cartoon, they did what they do with most things, like relationships & job opportunities: Ruined it! They began manipulating images of the dopey frog to promote things like violence & hatred towards women and minorities, which spread like wildfire and were eventually adopted as a symbol of the "Alt-Right" white supremacists that mobilized to get Donald Trump elected. Join us as we go on the campaign trail to free Pepe from the clutches of the oppressors, fighting for his right to drawn as the bong-tokin', pizza-eatin', peace-lovin' dude he was meant to be!

Every October, the scares and screams of Halloween are difficult to escape. Ghouls, ghosts, witches, and demons haunt the streets, giving us a fright at every corner! However, the rough and tumble citizens of Cedar Hill, Texas ain't scared of no stinkin' skeletons and Frankensteins; they laugh in the face of vampires and werewolves, yessiree. Now, if you really want to get a bunch of evangelical Texans shakin' in their boots, you take them to a small rave, or introduce them to a gay person. And if you really want to freak them the fuck out, the mere notion of pre-marital sex will have them running in fear. In Hell House, these are the themes explored throughout a homemade, church-sanctioned haunted house that attracts tens of thousands of horrified guests per year. Try to be brave and join us as we re-enter the post-9/11 Bush era, where it's always the victim's fault and eternal damnation is the punishment! Tune in!

It's a digital folklore tale as old as time: Not so long ago, in a simpler time, a pandemic would break out from the swampy streets of Florida unlike any we've seen before or since. Suddenly, creepy clowns were plaguing the streets and the internet alike, terrorizing stupid kids and obnoxious teenagers all throughout the nation (but mostly Texas). However, this mania couldn't be traced back to a bat or mosquito, but instead a sudden influx of ominous stickers featuring a melty clown face with a message reading: "WRINKLES THE CLOWN 407-734-0254." Join us as we follow the man behind the mask, witnessing a day in the life of a retired, liver-spotted van dweller who lives off a steady diet of Natural Ice, titty bars, frozen dinners, and 3,845 daily voicemails from parents begging them to come kill their kids. It's not depressing or stupid at all, we promise!