Becoming Your Best | The Principles of Highly Successful Leaders
Episode 380 - Married Happily Ever After with Dr. Frieda Birnbaum
Most of us misunderstood the "and they lived happily ever after" phrase; it doesn't mean they never argued or had different thoughts on the same matter. It means they grew together, supported each other, and made the other person's happiness their own.
Today, I'm joined by the inspiring Dr. Frieda Birnbaum, a National Media Psychologist and Personality, fellow podcaster Host of The Dr. Frieda Show, sought-after International Speaker, and Author of "Life Begins at 60: A New View on Motherhood, Marriage, and Reinventing Ourselves."
We had a fantastic conversation about what makes couples stay together, the foundations of a happy marriage (not perfect), and how emotional prenups can prevent marriages from ending. Dr. Frieda also shared details of her background, what inspired her to focus on couples' happiness, what makes an effective emotional prenup, and the importance of creating personal space in a relationship.
Tune in to Episode 380 and discover the foundations of a happily ever after marriage.
Some Questions I Ask:
Please tell us about your background and the things that have happened that helped you get to where you are today? (3:20)
What is an emotional prenup? (6:40)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
An encounter in a supermarket that changed Dr. Frieda's life (4:20)
The criteria we look at before marrying someone (7:50)
How to create a meaningful emotional prenup (11:40)
The importance of learning to listen (14:10)
Why we should praise personal space within a relationship (19:00)
The difference between mutual understanding of happiness and forcing the other to see and think like us (23:40)
The Doctor Frieda Show podcast
Book: Dr. Frieda Birnbaum - Life Begins at 60: A New View on Motherhood, Marriage, and Reinventing Ourselves
Connect with Dr. Frieda:
Becoming Your Best Resources:
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397. Episode 397 - Building Trust: Exceptional Leadership in an Uncertain World with Darryl Stickel, Ph.D.28:23As an executive leader, you need a trustworthy group of people, and if asked, you would easily describe the exact moment they earned your trust. Yet if we flip the question, you wouldn't know how you gained their trust. In fact, you might not know if they trust you. So, what is trust? How do you earn it? Can it be built or repaired once it's broken? In this episode, the extraordinary Darryl Stickel, Ph.D., gives us a masterclass on the secrets of building trust as leaders in our organizations, with our kids at home, and with our significant others. Darryl is an Independent Child and Family Counselor, Government Research Analyst, and Management Consultant with McKinsey & Company, a Global Leader in practical approaches to building trust, and the Author of "Building Trust: Exceptional Leadership in an Uncertain World." Throughout our conversation, you'll hear about Darryl's background and how growing up in a small, isolated community in northern Canada shaped his way of seeing the world. Darryl talks about the 10 levers to build trust, how to build a culture of trust within an organization, and shares practical ways of implementing his model using the 10 levers of trust. Additionally, Darryl explains how to build trustworthy personal and professional connections, why giving ourselves the space and the grace to be imperfect is crucial, and much more. Tune in to Episode 397 and discover the secrets to building trustworthy connections with your team, family, and business partners. Some Questions I Ask: How can CEOs or key leaders of an organization build trust with their teams and organizations? (7:30) Is it possible to fix trust in broken relationships? (16:30) In This Episode, You Will Learn: Darryl ‘s upbringing (4:00) Practical tips for building trust in a relationship (14:00) How can partners and lovers build high trust (20:20) Give yourself grace and space to be imperfect (24:10) Connect with Darryl: Website LinkedIn Email: email@example.comBook: Darryl Stickel, Ph.D. - Building Trust: Exceptional Leadership in an Uncertain World Becoming Your Best Resources: Becoming Your Best Website Becoming Your Best Library Book: Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful LeadersBook: Conquer Anxiety: How to Overcome Anxiety and Optimize Your Performance
396. Episode 396 - Leadership Wisdom for the Ages: An Interview with Ben Franklin26:59"The mere speculative conviction that it was our interest to be completely virtuous was not sufficient to prevent our slipping, and that the contrary habits must be broken, and good ones acquired and established before we can have any dependence on a steady, uniform rectitude of conduct." - Benjamin Franklin. In today's episode, we have fun interviewing one of the founding fathers of the United States, drafter and signer of the Declaration of Independence, and the first postmaster general of the United States, Benjamin Franklin. The writer, scientist, inventor, diplomat, and one of the leading intellectuals of his time talks about the 13 necessary virtues and how to stay focused on them so we can turn them into habits. Throughout this episode, you'll learn about Ben Franklin's 13 virtues, what inspired him to create them, and how they inspired us and later became a transformational template for Steve's first book, "Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful Leaders." We also go through each virtue, learn how to turn them into habitual practices, how each of the 12 principles can help you become a highly successful leader, and much more. Tune in to Episode 396 of Becoming Your Best, learn to cultivate and flourish the 13 virtues, and let them guide you through building a life by design and a more intentional existence. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why some old habits must be broken (4:20) Ben Franklin talks about the 13 virtues (6:50) How to stay focused and turn the 13 virtues into habits (12:00) The 13 virtues as a transformational template for "Becoming Your Best" (16:10) 12 Principles of Highly Successful Leaders (20:20) Becoming Your Best Resources: Becoming Your Best Website Becoming Your Best University Website Becoming Your Best Library Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Book: Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful Leaders Book: Conquer Anxiety: How to Overcome Anxiety and Optimize Your Performance Facebook Group – Conquer Anxiety
395. Episode 395 - The "Negativity Effect" and the "4-Horsemen" of Disaster. How They Affect Your Home, Loved Ones and Work.33:52Part of becoming a great leader is not only overcoming the challenges of leadership itself but our personal limitations as well. The first step is identifying them and knowing and understanding their origin. Then, we must equip ourselves with the tools and resources to obliterate them: an antidote to eliminate their effects. This week, I share the best advice from the noblest of companions, the one who holds long life in the right hand and wealth and honor in the left, one that is worth more than silver and gold and is more valuable than jewels: wisdom. We discuss Roy Baumeister's "Negativity Effect" and John Gottman's relationships' "4-Horsemen of Apocalypse." Throughout this episode, you'll hear Roy Baumeister's brilliant responses to Jennifer Graham's interview about the "Negativity Effect," and you'll learn why most of us spend more time on negative thoughts, ideas, and feelings. We'll also discuss John Gottman's "4-Horsemen of Apocalypse" in professional and personal relationships, origin, meaning, and antidote. Tune in to Episode 395 of Becoming Your Best and discover these fantastic tools that'll help you keep improving and get close to your best version. In This Episode, You Will Learn: A bit about the inspiration for today's episode (2:30) Why wisdom is such a valuable attribute (5:00) The Negativity Effect (11:40) Roy Baumeister's tips on parenting (15:00) What are the "4-Horsemen of Apocalypse" for relationships (20:30) The antidotes for each horseman (22:20) Becoming Your Best Resources: Becoming Your Best Website Becoming Your Best University Website Becoming Your Best Library Email: email@example.com Book: Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful Leaders Book: Conquer Anxiety: How to Overcome Anxiety and Optimize Your Performance Facebook Group – Conquer Anxiety
394. Episode 394 - Defining Moments of Leadership with Marsha Acker29:05"Have you ever had the frustrating experience of having the same conversation over and over at work or at home? Because if you have, that's your indicator, your canary in the coal mine telling you there's a lot more to that conversation you're missing."In this episode, I'm joined by the extraordinary Marsha Acker to discuss how to identify and crack down on stuck patterns of communication that get in the way of performing at the highest level. Marsha is a Leadership and Team Coach, Author, Sought-after Speaker, Host of the Defining Moments of Leadership podcast, and the Founder and CEO of TeamCatapult.Throughout our conversation, you'll hear Marsha's thoughts on the most common communication issues and their devastating effects on organizations, families, and personal and professional relationships. Marsha also shares tips to enhance our communication skills, reduce the noise's interference to the minimum, and create sustainable change.You'll also hear about Marsha's background, what inspired her to become a facilitator, create the Model for Leading Change, and much more.Tune in to Episode 394 and learn to identify and crack down on the communication issues holding you and your team back.Some Questions I Ask:Tell us about your background, including any turning points that massively influenced you and your work today (3:10)What are some good communication tips for us today? (9:20)In This Episode, You Will Learn:What led Marsha to work as a facilitator and become a communication expert (6:20)Learn to separate the WHAT from the HOW (12:40)What happens when an individual keeps coming back to a core issue (16:10)Tips to maintain sustainable change (21:30)Be welcoming to opposing ideas when communicating (25:20)Resources:Book: Marsha Acker - Build Your Model for Leading Change: A Guided Workbook to Catalyze Clarity and Confidence in Leading Yourself and OthersDefining Moments of Leadership with Marsha Acker podcastConnect with Marsha:WebsiteLinkedInBecoming Your Best Resources:Becoming Your Best WebsiteBecoming Your Best University WebsiteBecoming Your Best LibraryEmail: firstname.lastname@example.org Book: Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful LeadersBook: Conquer Anxiety: How to Overcome Anxiety and Optimize Your Performance
393. Episode 393 - Sage Leadership Tips from David C. Clark and Gardner H. Russell with Steve Shallenberger14:04A massive portion of the decisive events in our lives are intimately linked with things we can't control, like luck, destiny, other people's attitudes, or God's will. Still, by incorporating certain habits, we can augment our probabilities of success and make them less dependent on chance. In today's episode, I share three leadership tips from one of the best leaders and businessmen I've ever known, Dave Clark, that'll help you reduce luck's influence in your life as a team leader, keep your business growing, and your personal and professional relationships glowing. We will also go through excellent advice from the late Gardner Russell, former BYB Board Member, who mentored and guided me since I was a young buck when I met him in my early 20s. Tune in to Episode 393 of Becoming Your Best, and access these simple yet powerful tips that'll support you in the process of becoming your best.In This Episode, You Will Learn:Think of and determine your roles and actions before the week starts (1:40)The importance of keeping constant and real growth in sight (5:30)Be aware of possible threats always (6:40)Why it is so easy to get complacent and why you should never do it (8:30)Becoming Your Best Resources:Becoming Your Best WebsiteBecoming Your Best University WebsiteBecoming Your Best LibraryEmail: email@example.com Book: Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful LeadersBook: Conquer Anxiety: How to Overcome Anxiety and Optimize Your PerformanceFacebook Group – Conquer Anxiety
392. Episode 392 - How to Present Like a Pro (Virtually or in Person) with Jacqueline Farrington32:26How we say what we say is crucial; a speaker whose voice and body language don't match the message screams: I don't believe what I'm saying. For a leader to be credible and trustworthy, their voice, gestures, and message must look, sound and feel the same. This week, I'm joined by the extraordinary Jaqueline Farrington, President and CEO Coach at Farrington Partners, Author, Speaker, Consultant, and Customized Communications Expert. Her latest book, "The Non-Obvious Guide To Better Presentations," is full of practical and actionable tools to create congruency in gesture, voice, and expressions to create trust. She uses neuroscience to help speakers perform at their best and make engaging and appealing speeches, even in online environments. Throughout this episode, you'll hear Jaqueline's best advice and tips to elevate your public speaking abilities, take your presentations to the next level, and become an engaging, trustworthy, and credible leader. You'll also hear about Jaqueline's acting background, what inspired her to write "The Non-Obvious Guide To Better Presentations," and how to make your voice and body language match your speech. Additionally, you'll hear Jaqueline's thoughts on Executive Presence, how to become better at "thinking on one's feet," the differences between presenting in-person and online, and more. Tune in to Episode 391 and learn how to present like a pro and use your communication skills to spark transformation and innovation.Some Questions I Ask: How did you end up working in the communications field? (4:00) Why are voice and body so important in leadership communication? (9:00) In This Episode, You Will Learn: A bit about Jaqueline's background (1:30)What inspired Jaqueline to write "The Non-Obvious Guide To Better Presentations" (7:10)How to make your voice and body language match your message (13:00)Is it possible to learn to think on one's feet? (19:20)The differences between presenting online and in person (26:30)Connect with Jaqueline: Farrington Partners website LinkedIn Book: Jaqueline Farrington - The Non-Obvious Guide to Better PresentationsBecoming Your Best Resources: Becoming Your Best Website Becoming Your Best University Website Becoming Your Best Library Book: Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful LeadersBook: Conquer Anxiety: How to Overcome Anxiety and Optimize Your Performance
391. Finding Happiness Today with Michael O’Brien31:42Understanding that life happens for you and not to you is a revolutionary concept that can change your life. For instance, when misfortune knocks on your door, instead of asking why me, you can appreciate the light-hearted people that helped you and be grateful for those who inspired and motivated you to keep going. In today's episode, I'm joined by the inspiring Michael O'Brien, Ripple Creator, Meditation Teacher, Speaker, Executive Coach, Cyclist, and the Creator of The Pause, Breathe, Reflect Meditation App. After a cycling accident that almost killed him, which kept him bedridden for months, Michael saw himself forced to pause, breathe, and meditate about his mindset, life perspective, and actions. The accident put him on a new path to create better tomorrows for his work and life, which helped him find his passion for business leadership development and Peloton Executive Coaching™. Throughout our conversation, we go through every lesson Michael's almost fatal accident taught him. You'll hear his thoughts on gratitude, mindfulness, meditation, and how understanding that “everything is neutral until you label it" dramatically changed his perspective on life. Michael also explains the benefits of pausing, breathing, and reflecting before taking action, shares some meditation tips and advice, and more. Tune in to Episode 391 and discover how to access the tools you need to build better tomorrows for your life. Some Questions I Ask: How did you end up doing what you're doing today? (4:30) What is mindfulness, and what is it not? Why is it important to us, Michael? (20:40) In This Episode, You Will Learn: About Michael's near-death experience (4:10) Stop chasing happiness and focus on finding it in the present moment (10:40) Everything is neutral until you label it (15:00) Practical use of mindfulness in the corporate world (22:40) Take small bites at the apple at a time (24:50) Michael shares practical tips for meditation (26:40) Resources: Book: Michael O'Brien - My Last Bad Day Shift: How to Prevent Bad Moments from Turning into Bad Days Get the Pause, Breathe, Reflect Meditation App! Connect with Michael: Website Pause, Breathe, Reflect Movement LinkedIn InstagramBecoming Your Best Resources: Becoming Your Best WebsiteBecoming Your Best LibraryBook: Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful Leaders
390. Episode 390 - Green Beans and Ice Cream. The Remarkable Power of Positive Reinforcement with Bill Sims Jr.30:39Paychecks reinforce one behavior from your team members: showing up to work daily. But does it ensure their voluntary effort in giving their best safety, productivity, and quality-wise? Absolutely not; the only way to guarantee team members' commitment to excellence at work is through positive reinforcement, coaching, and servant leadership. This week, I'm joined by the brilliant Bill Sims Jr., world-renowned Keynote Speaker, President of the Bill Sims Company, Author of "Green Beans and Ice Cream. The Remarkable Power of Positive Thinking," and Positive Reinforcement advocate. With over 30 years of experience in the field, Bill worked with companies like Dupont, Coca-Cola, Siemens, and Disney to create and reinforce a safety, excellence, and accountability culture. Throughout our conversation, Bill explains why leaders must learn to provide and measure positive reinforcement and what are the best ways to provide it. He talks about how writing a book about what he thought was wrong in the employee reinforcement recognition field transformed him into a motivational speaker. Additionally, Bill shares practical ways leaders can use to demonstrate a genuine interest in their team members, talks about the three rocks that support his world, explains why his goal in safety is going beyond zero injuries, and more. Tune in and make sure you deliver the ice cream to your team after they eat all the green beans. Some Questions I Ask: What led you to do the work you do today? (2:40)What are the best ways to provide positive reinforcement? (9:00) In This Episode, You Will Learn: The three rocks that support Bill’s world (4:20)About the systems and tools every leader must have in place to provide positive reinforcement (9:30)Questions every leader should ask to establish and demonstrate a genuine interest in their team (13:00)When you should never give negative reinforcement or coaching feedback (17:50)Why every company's goal should be to reach a beyond-zero injury rate (25:00) Connect with Bill: WebsiteLinkedInBook: Green Beans & Ice Cream Becoming Your Best Resources: Becoming Your Best WebsiteBecoming Your Best University WebsiteBecoming Your Best LibraryEmail: firstname.lastname@example.orgBook: Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful LeadersBook: Conquer Anxiety: How to Overcome Anxiety and Optimize Your PerformanceFacebook Group – Conquer Anxiety
389. Episode 389 - Problem Solver. Maximizing Your Strengths to Make Better Decisions with Cheryl Strauss Einhorn28:27Making a Google search is so common the act already became a verb: googling something. There's nothing wrong with it, yet we should pay more attention to some things. For instance, relying mindlessly on one source of information is agreeing to that source's motivations, values, and interests. In today's episode, thanks to our guest, Cheryl Strauss Einhorn, we learn about AREA, an evidence-based decision-making system she created to counter cognitive bias to expand knowledge while improving judgment. Cheryl developed the AREA method after over two decades as an award-winning investigative journalist writing for The New York Times, Foreign Policy Magazine, Barron's, and Harvard Business Review. Cheryl is a Founder and Author of multiple books on leadership and self-development, a TEDx Speaker, and the Creator of the AREA Method. In January 2008, she founded Decisive, a leadership training and professional development company. Throughout our conversation, Cheryl explains why she believes decision-making is a skill that can be learned and developed, debunks the idea that decision-making is an individual activity, and describes the five problem-solver profiles. We also discuss Cheryl's AREA Method, why she describes the AREA Method as the opposite of googling, how to "clean" bias' dirty windshield, and more. Tune in to Episode 389 and prepare yourself to develop your decision-making skills and make big decisions better. Some Questions I Ask: Please, tell us about AREA; how did it come about? What is it? And how do you apply it? (6:20) Why do we need to investigate our decision-making? Why is that important? (12:10) In This Episode, You Will Learn: A bit about Cheryl's background (3:20) There is a massive difference between the map and the terrain (9:10) The 5 Problem Solver Profiles (14:00) An example of how Problem Solver Profile approaches an issue (17:10) It is possible to leverage your skills and mitigate your blind spots (23:20) Connect with Cheryl: Website LinkedIn Cheryl's Cheeta Sheets Get a copy of Cheryl's books Becoming Your Best Resources: Becoming Your Best Website Becoming Your Best University Website Becoming Your Best Library Book: Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful LeadersBook: Conquer Anxiety: How to Overcome Anxiety and Optimize Your Performance