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X Marks the Ship

What do you do when the charming rakish gentleman you’ve been chatting with ends up being a student of Super Seducer? You buckle in for another two hours of conversation and an clumsy transition into Treasure Hunting Ships! The Wild Thornberrys! Treasure Planet! Uncharted! The Mummy! Plus, what does Patrick mean when he says “kissy time” and is it anything like The Mask-esque calypso dance sequence playing on repeat in Colin’s head?