Sometimes, you have to realize that you are the clown you always feared the most. Other times, there's a new Star Wars movie, so the Shippers have a spoiler-free conversation about which Star Wars characters are the most unshippable (and holy cow, are some of these monsters unshippable).

Star Wars Unshippables and Colin Gets Clowned

What do you do when your boss' BF sends you lingerie at the office, and that same boss catches you opening it? Sounds like you hold all the cards, but maybe you don't! Then, the shippers' artificial extension of October concludes with "OctPhoBer." So this one's about soup? A'ight, let's do this.

OctPhoBer and Bossy Lingerie

What do you do when you're obviously crazy, but the papers insist on referring to you as "mild mannered"? Do you ride it out or try to right the injustice? I mean, if that's an AP headline, you probably can't do shit. Then, because the shippers can't let October go, they artificially stretch it out to yet another week - this time calling it OctFoalBer. Y'know, like a horse. And everyone definitely knows what the theme is and no one accidentally did an OctFoilBer ship.

OctFoalBer and MILD MANNERED MAN

What do you do when you can't convince anyone to watch your favorite sexy TV show? Also what if you're the only person who finds it sexy? Also also what if you're Colin J. Morris and this isn't so much a hypothetical question as just your goddamn reality and you really really really want your girlfriend to watch Taboo with you??? Then, fake October and forced word play continues with OctFoeBer Ships! The Shippers are always fans of enemies-to-lovers, this is just a formalized reason to explore some of their faves.

OctFoeBer and Too Taboo For Boo

What do you do when you find yourself in a genuine Degraci situation? Is there enough communication in the world to get you through one of those things? Then, the calendar may say "November", but the Shippers ain't done with October. That's right, it's the first Friday in OctFauxber, so we talkin' fakes and phonies.

OctFauxBer and She's in My Window!

What do you do when you're too sick to pull off the heist with your SO? And who is to blame when you start barfing all over the cash you boosted from the mafia stronghold? (Subquestion: is there anything more embarrassing or unpleasant than pooing your pants?) Then, hey, it's Halloween, which means it's time for Tales from the Ship. Does everyone understand the black cat-egory? Or do they all just have to boo their beast to scare up with some killer ships with very little desecration? It's a cobwebcast episcream to dismember with your fiends Skelly Boo-gent, Coffin J. Morbid, Dyin' Mo-ghoul and Patrick-or-TRICK Hell-ers.

Tales From the Ship and Pie Pie Poo Poo

What do you do when a bumbling detective tries to get you to fake your death to trick your SO? Depends on how charming that detective is, right? Then it's time to discuss Leftover Ships. Friends who are left over, topics that are left over, and leftover enthusiasts! (But, weirdly, no mention of HBOs "The Leftovers.")

Leftover Ships and A Test of Devotion

What do you do when your SO's aversion to pornography is due to the fact that their parents are porn stars? Then, DC has released a Batman - Death in the Family animated movie, which means the Shippers are discussing ships that would be perfect if only one meddling character would be taken out (i.e., murdered) first. It's Take 'Em Out Ships!

Take Em Out Ships and Go Daddy Go

What do you do when there's drama around not inviting the one terrible person in your friend group to your wedding? Relatedly, Kelly and Ryan have been watching Selling Sunset. Then: the Shipple Dips fight the War on Grandpa - it's time for Grandpa Ships.

Grandpa Ships and Fake Diamond Rings

What if your life changed for the better, but your SO wanted it to change back? (There's a twist here...) Then, Star Wars Squadrons is out, so we're talking Pilot Ships. Does that mean ships from pilot episodes? Characters that pilot things falling in love? Oh: it's at least these two things and maybe some more.

Pilot Ships and Jaws Wired Shut

There’s no relation they can’t ship

Prepare to explore the deepest, sexiest regions of fandom with the pop culture obsessives of SAME DAY SHIPPING! Kelly Nugent, Patrick Ehlers, Colin J. Morris, and Ryan Mogge get alarmingly personal whether debating intergalactic trysts or calling out problematic Disney Princess relationships. Movies, TV shows, comic books, video games – nothing’s off limits…not even real life!

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Star Wars Unshippables and Colin Gets Clowned

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OctFoalBer and MILD MANNERED MAN

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OctFauxBer and She's in My Window!