What do you do when your new crush wants to be quarantined with you? Welcome her in for untold months or shut the door without saying a word? Then it's on to Home Ships. You know home, right? It's the place you never leave anymore? OHGODIMSOBOREDANDLONELY... I mean enjoy the show!

Home Ships and Quarantine Hotties

I don't know why we let Colin do Hot Takes. Then, there's a new Top Gun movie in theatres which means we're doing Top Ships! Top Gun! The X-Files! Batman! Monsters, Inc.! Stand and Deliver! Dangerous Minds!

Top Ships and an Utter Betrayal

If your SO once had a chip implanted in you that made it so he could monitor you all the time, how the heck are you ever supposed to trust him again? Oh, he removed the chip did he? Maybe he just implanted another chip that made you believe you had all your chips removed - EVER THINK OF THAT HUH DID YOU? Then, there's a new Chip &amp; Dale Rescue Rangers movie, so the Shippers are talking Rescue Ships! The other three all talk about whatever, but Colin does a full-on southern re-enactment of Cliffhanger, so listen for that if nothing else.

Rescue Ships and Chip in the Brain

Cagematch: The Finale

After years and years of planning, the Shippers are finally ready to tackle the untacklable: which Nicolas Cage movie is the best Nicolas Cage movie? The tournament begins as 15 classic films vie for the title of Eastern Division Champion, and a chance to take on the winner of the Western Division Champion next week! Who will win? Which Cage is Cage-y-est? And what is a soft boiled egg? Only very specific measurements of time will tell!

Cagematch: Part One

Oh my god. Kelly saw Morbius so, like, let's talk about what it would be like to be the woman in that movie. There was a woman in that movie right? And then ("and then!?") there's a new season of Barry, co-starring Henry Winkler, so the Shippers are talking their favorite Winkler Ships. Happy Days! Teen Wolf! Ferris Bueller's Day Off! Best in Show! Moon! (And Patrick didn't come up with a ship, so instead he exposes everyone to a cursed Lego / Marvel / Muppets Mash-Up.) Peg Mogge?

Winkler Ships and Internship of the Century

Your SO had a second personality this whole time and that personality to perfect for you. Like, you love that damn alternate personality so much, but he's been keeping it from you? Good think he's a babe either way. Then, there's a movie about a wolf, a shark, a spider, a snake called The Bad Guys, so the shippers talk about how in appropriate it is to market a children's movie with that Billie Eilish song, and their favorite Crew Ships. Our Flag Means Death! Star Wars! The Abyss! The Meg! Firefly! Community!

Crew Ships and Perfect Ancient Personality

Isn't it always the way? The instant you find creative, revolutionary fulfillment in your magazine, you end up boinking the centerfold! We've all been there, but what about when said centerfold FALLS IN LOVE WITH YOU? Then, a new season of Russian Doll is on the infinitely repeating horizon, so the Shippers are saying "sweet birthday baby" and celebrating Birthday Ships! Sometimes that just means characters that have birthdays, and sometimes that means characters in movies where there are other characters that we never see, who will never have another birthday again. (It also means one deranged fantasy that we are all genuinely worse off for hearing.)

Birthday Ships and My Rebound is a Centerfold

What do you do when some viscount tries to suck bee-sting venom out of your titties? What do you know about allergies? What does ANYONE know about allergies? Then, AmbuLAnce is a new heist-y, chase-y movie directed by Michael Bay, so the Shippers are talking Chase Ships! Looney Tunes! The Other Two! Seinfeld! Drive Me Crazy! The Batman!

Chase Ships and a Killer Bee

When you're dating someone new, you have to expect some of the usual questions to pop up. Have you ever been married? Where did you grow up? Do you have any siblings? Is it cake? Only one of these questions is a test you can fail that would result in you getting no dessert of any kind. DON'T GET IT WRONG! Then, Jared Leto is MORBIUS THE LIVING VAMPIRE so it's time to discuss our favorite (and least favorite) Former Teen Idol Ships! Bojack Horseman! A Mighty Wind! From Justin to Kelly! Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23! Degrassi!

Former Teen Idol Ships and The Coconut Test

There’s no relation they can’t ship

Prepare to explore the deepest, sexiest regions of fandom with the pop culture obsessives of SAME DAY SHIPPING! Kelly Nugent, Patrick Ehlers, Colin J. Morris, and Ryan Mogge get alarmingly personal whether debating intergalactic trysts or calling out problematic Disney Princess relationships. Movies, TV shows, comic books, video games – nothing’s off limits…not even real life!

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Home Ships and Quarantine Hotties

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Rescue Ships and Chip in the Brain

Cagematch: The Finale

Cagematch: Part One